My Everyday is a Winding Road

(This blog was originally posted for no reason last Feb 23, 2006. Today, a fellow made it ‘meaningful’ to me.)

“We love, we learn and we move on…and that’s OK” - Lisa Metzger

There were a lot of times I was just looking at its billboard from the inside of an MRT coach but was never excited nor looking forward to see Uma Thurman out of her yellow suit and portray another character in this movie.

But one weekend, as I was hanging out with a good friend’s place…she loaded it in (the DVD! Haha!) I was also wondering why I came to love the movie - I have never been into that kind of situation anyhow! (not anymore) Maybe what I really loved about this movie is how two people met, dated, eventually fell in love and tried building a world together, realized that no matter how they love each other, it has to end - must move on and grow. It was not a happy ending, not even a “feel good” movie but it was all worth it for the movie made me realize that there is life after losing or giving up someone. Sure there will be times you’ll cross each other’s paths and just have to leave it at that. There will be big WHAT IF’s and it’s a matter of how one will manage to go through life without it. Hah! ‘nuff said! Hehehehe! Just wanna share a few good lines from the movie….

Rafi Gardet: I can’t. I can’t do this to you. You don’t want to.

David Bloomberg: You want to. It’s what you want so I want it.

Rafi Gardet: But you don’t. You would regret it.

David Bloomberg: I want to give you this gift.

Rafi Gardet: I know. And it’s the sweetest gift anyone has every given me. The fact that you are willing to do this for me shows how deep your love goes. That’s the gift I’m taking from you instead.

And this song…(a perfect match for the movie!)

I WISH YOU LOVE

Goodbye, no use leading with our chins

This is where our story ends

Never lovers, ever friends

Goodbye, let our hearts call it a day

But before you walk away

I sincerely want to say

I wish you bluebirds in the spring

To give your heart a song to sing

And then a kiss, but more than this

I wish you love

And in july a lemonade

To cool you in some leafy glade

I wish you health

But more than wealth

I wish you love

My breaking heart and I agree

That you and I could never be

So with my best

My very best

I set you free

I wish you shelter from the storm

A cozy fire to keep you warm

But most of all when snowflakes fall

I wish you love

But most of all when snowflakes fall

I wish you love

I wish you love

I wish you love, love, love, love, love

I wish you love…

And today, two of my true and good friends and I got reunited. It was fun and all memories we had right from the time we were just foolish ‘teeners flashed back right before me. It really made me smile where we are right now-working very hard establishing and paving our direction towards quality life and happiness. 8 years of friendship and unconditional love for each other. Like brothers, we saw each other grew up and change whether it was worst or for the better, with open arms we accepted each other. We saw each other’s ups and downs and how we managed to go through it together. We had times of quarrels and misunderstandings but just like a true family, we are still intact. There were times that we were apart but when there’s an opportunity for us to get together, pure and clean fun happens. Like the usual, we spent time talking and talking until we find ourselves waking up the next day - updating each other, sharing problems and giving advices, cracking jokes and telling new life revelations. It is true that you will get to meet new friends but the friends you really grew up with will stay until you get old and grey. And this I say is the perfect relationship one could ever get in his entire life…Maui and Rodwin. You guys are the comfort that I need right now. The Power of Three: Generation Next!

Now, I finally admit that when I give myself to someone, I could not easily take it back to me once the shot has been called. I still always see possibilities and chances. And it is happening right now. The full wrath of my fortress like the ‘Great Wall of China’ that was once there standing up strong has been weakened. It would be very hard to restore it each time it has been destroyed with the city. That is why I do not easily give up once a city is built inside it. I remember the movie “The Story of Us”, I would like to quote Katie Jordan (Michelle Pfeiffer) when she said, ‘In Mesopotamia or Ancient Troy there are cities built on top of other cities, but I don’t want another city, I like this city.’ Lucky for her because Ben Jordan (Bruce Willis) thinks and holds the same way she does to their relationship. And years before having this blog, Katie and Ben Jordan’s belief has been my Philosophy - that should I start building a new city on top of the old one, despite of the goodness it can bring, I shouldn’t do it if I foresee that I wouldn’t be able to take in to swallow and accept even the most worst thing that the new city is about to offer or any worst that could happen on it in the first place. And once the city is there - It would only be the city that I would like to be in. Unfortunately, some people I have built a city with before didn’t look at it that way. They left the old cities that were inside the old fortresses to become ruins. It was too damn hard and sad. All cities built became ruins and eventually – a waste. I cannot force this Philosophy to the person I share my life with. I could just let the person see that this is my Philosophy and wish that somehow it can be that person’s Philosophy too. And if the person does, what is left after the hurricane and thunderstorm or any destruction that occurred should be restored and be built with a stronger foundation. Brink of destruction can come back anytime with a different face but should still stick to this city no matter what and go back to the restoration cycle. If not, it will just be left as a ruin again. If that unfortunately happens, it will not be easy and I will be forced to start rebuilding a much stronger fortress than before until I decide for a new city to be built on top of it again. I hope this will not be the case but if so, I know it will take a very long time for the current city I like to be replaced with a new one and it will not be that easy like before.

And with my Philosophy come these lines from the movie:

Ben: Isn’t this the moment where one of us is supposed to say: Look, this is ridiculous, we love each other, all couples go through this, let’s give it another try.

Katie: Once you establish *anything* truly intimate with another person - even *talking* - it has to affect the person you’re supposed to be the most intimate with.

Rachel: [to Ben]: People *change* over time - you’ve got to expect that. Ben, the only way a relationship works is if people grow and change together!   

………

7/10/06